Become a Leader

A leader is not born.

A leader is created and the whole process starts inside the most dangerous place you’ll ever encounter – your own mind.

How can you become a  leader who inspires others, drives people toward excellence, holds people accountable, and instills a sense of trust? Learning what makes a great leader is your first step.

What You Can Do

1. Control yourself. Every great leader in history has had to become a master of self-discipline and willpower in order to stay focused on the big picture. If you don’t have a goal or the drive to achieve it, you can’t lead others to attain theirs.

* Follow through in everything you do. As challenging as it may be, you need to be disciplined enough to be where you need to be, when you need to be there, whether you want to or not. By being strong in your resolve and resisting temptation to give up, you are setting an example for others to live up to.

* Choose your emotional response to a situation carefully. Sometimes you’ll need to practice the art of silencing your inner thoughts when they’re not appropriate in order to set a positive example.

2. Project your goals. If the people you’re leading don’t completely understand the deeper meaning in their work, they won’t share your vision or work ethic. Every step of the way, communicate with your team to make sure they’re on the same wavelength and know what you expect of them.

* Get your team involved in the planning process and the implementation of your ideas. This gives everyone a greater sense of ownership toward the end result.

3. Praise highly and criticize constructively. The way you praise and criticize others can make all the difference in being able to lead effectively.

* Make sure you publicly praise the people who do excellent work for you. You’ll give the person a sense of accomplishment and the drive to do even better.

* When someone does something wrong, offer constructive criticism and do it privately. Suggest solutions on how they can improve and take the time to answer any questions. They’ll accept your input more willingly if they know it’s done to help and not to harm.

4. Know your people. You can’t truly lead a group of people unless you truly understand their hopes, dreams, struggles, pains, and goals. All the good intentions in the world mean nothing unless you have a true sense of the people you’re working with.

* Talk to your team and get to know them. Getting to know each other on a personal level will strengthen the bond between you. They’ll want to do better for you because you’re more than just a “boss.”?

* Be their leader, first, and their friend second. You’re their leader and that means that you have to make difficult decisions from time to time. These decisions cannot be affected by personal relationships.

5. Make the hard call. There are times when you have to bite the bullet and make some unpleasant decisions. Firing, demoting, and holding people accountable for their actions can be very hard at times. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to handle these matters.

Regardless of where your leadership role takes you, believe that you can be a strong leader. Remember that in order to lead others, you must be disciplined yourself. After all, your actions will speak louder than anything you can say.

In order to gain the respect of others, strive to lead by example in every area of your life.

Take advantage of our  free 20 minute, no strings attached, consultation and contact us today!

Positve Self Talk

Do you feel like you are always talking yourself out of success? As soon as you start to set goals for yourself, do you suddenly have nagging thoughts about how you aren’t up to the task or how you simply aren’t qualified to carry it through?

If you have ever experienced either situation, you need to change the way you respond to your inner dialogue. Instead of obeying your negative commands, you can use positive self talk to counter the negativity and overcome nearly all anxious thoughts.

Positive Self Talk & Your Goals

Are you initially filled with excitement when you first set goals for yourself? Are these thoughts then followed by self-doubt and self-defeating thoughts that stop you in your tracks before you even get started?

It can be difficult to make the most of your life when you are constantly talking yourself out of being a success. It can be frustrating and discouraging to have these thoughts constantly plaguing you. Many of us, in fact, don’t even realize we have them! All we know is that we don’t have the confidence to stick to our plans and reach our goals.

But there’s another way!

Positive self talk is an effective way to set goals and ensure that you stick to them, even if you have never been able to do this before. The way this works is that you decide what goal is important to you, and then you plan the logistics of how you are going to attain this goal. When self-doubt starts kicking in, you will respond with affirmations that prove your success without surrendering to the negative pressure. Since you’re reading this article, it’s clear that you’re no quitter and you’re certainly not a failure, so start believing in yourself!

Re-Programming Your Mind

Affirmations are essentially positive statements that re-program your mind for the positive. The moment you have a self-defeating thought you’d be able to counter the negative with a motivating statement. An example of a positive affirmation is: “I am worthy of great success,” or “I see myself in the winner’s circle.” What this does is replace negativity with thoughts that will help you move toward your goals instead of further away from them.

Positive self talk is easier to implement than you might think. You may not be aware of the severity of the negative dialogue currently within your mind. However, once you begin with positive self-talk, you will suddenly realize that you are self-sabotaging the goals you set for yourself from the minute that you make them. This process can open your eyes to exactly how much this inner conversation has been interfering with your life. You’ll feel hopeful that you can now set goals and surpass them.

If you’re having difficulty cutting the negative self talk, contact me for a free 20 minute consultation. I want to help you set and achieve your goals and see your dreams come true.

Ask For Help

Have you ever watched a child struggle with something? Say for instance you see a child sitting on the floor struggling to tie his or her shoe. Most adults would bend down and offer to help and you may be surprised when you are greeted with a “I can do it myself” when asked if they need help. Many children want to “go at it alone” and so do many adults but that doesn’t mean that it is always the smart thing to do.

My business revolves around helping moms. Whether its helping them to gain tools to lower their stress, helping them to gain life balance or helping them follow their true passion, I am always helping people. The key here is that these people want the help, admit to themselves that something is “missing” in order to seek out that help, then they have to ask for help.

If Asking For Help is Wrong I Don’t Wanna be Right

There is nothing wrong with asking for and seeking help. As a matter of fact, it’s the smartest move you can make when you feel stuck or uncertain with a particular task at hand. When you sit back and think about it… there is so much that we try to accomplish during the course of each day frankly, sometimes those things can become overwhelming.  Getting help is often the solution but asking for help can be difficult for some people. 

I think that the number one reason people don’t ask for help is simply rooted in fear.  Fear that people will judge them or fear that others will see them as weak.  These are the same fears that hold many people back in life.  Many people feel embarrassed to admit that they don’t have all the answers while others feel shy or awkward.  The important thing is to take the pressure off of yourself and just do it (kind of like Nike).  You will save yourself time and frustration and hey, you will learn something in the process.

Believe it or not, I used to have this problem.  I was the one that would get frustrated trying to figure something out and kept the questions bottled up inside of me fearing that asking the questions would make me look….well.. dumb!  I always felt that if I asked for help people would then wonder how is it that I can help them when I can’t even help myself.  What I slowly began to realize is that if wanted to become successful then I had to ask for help.  I am living proof that knowing your strengths as well as your weaknesses is important and learning how to delegate and ask for help is equally important.  My new motto soon became “When the going gets tough, the tough ask for help”!

I will leave you with 2 questions:

1. What is it that holds you back from asking for the help that you need?   
2. What have you been afraid to ask for help with?

Are you ready to get the help that you deserve?   Take advantage of our  free 20 minute, no strings attached, consultation and contact us today!

Overcoming Procrastination

Do you frequently find yourself putting essential tasks off until tomorrow, later, or never instead of doing them today? If procrastination has worked its way into your life, it may be time to change the way you think about your tasks and goals and begin to utilize better ways of tackling those things you’ve been procrastinating on.

As you can imagine and probably know from personal experience, when you procrastinate it not only affects the task but it can also affect you emotionally and bring on feelings such as guilt, inadequacy and stress.

There are many reasons that you may procrastinate. Poor time management, anxiety about a certain task and being bored by a certain task are just a few of the reasons that people procrastinate. In the end, procrastination usually leads to more stress.

Overcoming procrastination … Here’s How

Can you approach the task differently? Always be mindful of how you approach tasks. Ask yourself: Do I need to use a different technique? Will a new way of approaching this task make me feel better? How can I get some JOY out of starting this project? We all work in different ways and are inspired by different things. Find what works well for you and go with it.

Be sure you have what you need: Make certain that you have the right information, equipment and energy level to enable you to complete the task.

Plan, plan, plan: Did I say Plan? The time we spend in preparation and planning to see a task to completion is imperative. Set a time limit for yourself. Put a deadline on your tasks and work to reach that deadline.

Break it down: Big projects can feel overwhelming. Break them down into the smaller subparts. You’ll get more done if you can do it piece by piece. Even the most dreadful tasks can be done in small increments.

Boost yourself up: Give your own motivation a good boost. Trust in your strengths. Take a moment to reflect upon other tasks that you have accomplished and feel good about! Keep reminding yourself that you can be successful!

Reward yourself: Celebrate and let yourself enjoy the completion of your tasks (large or small). It is important to never minimize your accomplishments.

Overcoming procrastination can be done and it usually involves both better organizational and time-management. You can start overcoming procrastination now and in the process, feel much better about yourself. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be surprised at how much joy, exhilaration and sense of accomplishment is on the other side of procrastination.

If you’re having difficulty overcoming procrastination, contact me for a free 20 minute consultation. I want to help you set and achieve your goals and see your dreams come true.

Sharing Some Exciting News

I have some really exciting news that I wanted to share with you.

I posted a bit about this a few weeks ago and hopefully you caught it but just in case you didn’t you can click here and read about how I was contacted by a newspaper reporter here in Washington, DC who wanted to interview me for an article. Well, I did the interview and the article was published and hit the news-stands here in DC and soon after that hit the internet.

Here is the link to the article which actually was turned into a “special feature” (smile).

I wanted to share this with you, my readers; because I appreciate your support, I am so passionate about helping others and I think that this feature really put into words how I feel about you and how I see my business.

Thank you for all of your support!

P.S. There really is nothing like coaching. The best way to learn about it is to experience it for yourself! Grab your free consultation here.

Time Management Strategies

People rushing around seemingly clueless as to where they are rushing off to. This is typical of major cities such as Manhattan. Tourist often wonder, “Where everyone is rushing off to?” “Why is everyone in such a hurry?” It’s all because of time.

Someone’s late for lunch or getting back to work from lunch or going to miss the train or bus home or be late for dinner or for an appointment. Rarely does anyone ever stops to think about the amount of time wasted worrying about time. Proper planning is the key to saving time yet coming to the realization of this has somehow eluded us. These brief but important time management techniques when put to use can effectively yield positive results.

Time Management Strategies

Prepare Ahead of Time – Make a daily list of things that need to be done, appointments that need to kept, and so on.

Prioritize Your List – When creating your daily to do list, start with the most important tasks first and ending with the least important task of the day.

Be Punctual – Plan ahead for traffic delays and phone call interruptions. Leave an hour or so earlier than your scheduled appointment time giving you plenty of time to arrive at your destination even if something unexpected should occur.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff.” – Perfectionism has no place in effective time management. Take for example, you have an important engagement, wedding or other function to attend; don’t spend time mulling over minor things, this will cause you to be late. Perhaps you are expecting company for the holidays don’t panic because your kitchen floor isn’t spotless. No one cares or will probably even notice but you. Your guests, be it friends or family are coming to your home to see you, not your kitchen floor.

It’s Okay to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t.” You are a hard worker; you’re very efficient, and you’re always there when your boss needs you. So what happens when your boss asks you to stay an extra hour but you have a scheduled appointment say to go pick up your kids on this particular day, what do you do? You feel torn and fear upsetting your boss if you say you can’t. Stop! It’s time to think of you. Simply say, “I’m sorry, I can’t today.” If you’ve been a good worker and you are honest with your boss as to why you can’t stay there is no reason to feel guilty and he/she will hopefully admire your honesty and understand.

Don’t put off what you can do today till tomorrow

Procrastination is a real time stealer. Know that if you have something scheduled for a particular time, do it. If you need a nudge set a reminder on your phone or an alarm clock that will tell you it’s time to do what you have scheduled.

Time is important to each and every one of us. It should not be wasted rather we should make the most of our time by being prepared for our daily routines, our work and our family responsibilities. It is a basic and important component in how we conduct our lives not only in regards to work but also in our personal free time.

See how life coaching can help develop time managment stragegies that will help you to live a more stress free life. Grab your free 20 minute, no strings attached, consultation today.

See How Easily You Can Add More Fun Into Your Life

Let’s start with a simple definition of Fun: something that provides mirth or amusement; enjoyment or playfulness.

As moms, we work hard keeping our family happy and healthy but what about ourselves? Do you realize how important having a little fun is? By incorporating fun into you life, you will notice a more positive attitude beginning to emerge and you will also see that adding more fun into your life ultimately lowers stress. Fun is not frivolous, rather it is an important ingredient in the health of your body, mind and spirit. It provides each of with the necessary energy to heal and take care of ourselves. So how can you add more ‘fun’ into your life:

You can increase the fun in your life by focusing on the activities you enjoy the most, spending more time on fun activities, or increasing the number of fun activities that you participate in.

Taking the steps to adding more fun into your life is as easy as:

1- assessing the current activities that you enjoy
2- adding new fun activities to your life
3- allocating more time for fun activities

Here’s How

Make a *FUN* list. Make a list of the current activities or hobbies that bring enjoyment to your life. Also be sure to include the hobbies or activities that you have never tried but you think would be fun.

Set aside time. Make a point to schedule at least 2 hours to do one of those activities on your Fun list. I know that your lead a busy life but out of your 168 hour week, just set aside 2 hrs to devote to your fun. You wont regret it. Make having fun a habit. Having fun should be a priority in your life.

Here are some simple suggestions that you can follow in order to add some fun into your life without eating up a lot of time: Read a funny book, story or the comics, share a joke, watch a funny TV program or movie, laugh out loud at something silly that one of your loved ones did or do something silly yourself.

Make your own fun. Take a chore that you normally don’t find enjoyment in and spice it up. Instead of just vacuuming, why not turn that chore into something fun and turn on some music and dance while you vacuum. You can do the same with just about any chore or daunting task.

You will find that by adding fun activities into your lifestyle that you will begin to feel happier, more relaxed and less stressed. Try it this week! You owe it to yourself.

See how real life coaching can help carve time out of your busy life to enjoy yourself!  Take advantage of our  free 20 minute, no strings attached, consultation and contact us today!

Organizing Your Decision Making Process

Decision making is a necessary part of life, but can often be stifled by an unorganized way of thinking about the process. There are three ways to categorize the items that delay our ability to make a decision and several ways of addressing each type. The three categories are decision- making confusion, commitment anxiety and external pressures.

Decision making Confusion

This label categorizes the feeling that ‘something must be done,’ but you can’t even determine what the options are. Try:

1) Sleep on It. If a particular situation is causing you high stress in the heat of the moment, take a step back and sleep on it for a night. In the morning (after your coffee), you may discover that options are not as difficult to generate as you had thought the previous day. Much like used car sales, this offer is good for ‘one day only!’ If it has been 24-hours since it became clear that something should be done, it’s time to try another option-generating strategy.

2) Free-write Brainstorm. Give yourself a set amount of time and write down every option that you can think of. Don’t worry about whether or not the option is viable. Just write down anything that comes to mind. When the time has elapsed, go through your list and determine which of the options are worth considering further.

3) Talk it out. Call your best friends, talk to your co- workers or chat with the checkout clerk. Talk with others who can look at your situation with fresh eyes and get their input to generate a list of options. In some cases, experienced eyes may be even more helpful than fresh eyes. Hunt for a friend or acquaintance that has been in a similar situation and find out how they ultimately made their decision. Be sure to let them know that you may not make the same one, but that you appreciate the assistance in generating options.

Commitment Anxiety

Now that your options are on the table, you may experience commitment anxiety, a deep fear that your choice will lock you into a decision that is ultimately not the best choice. Try:

1. Pro/Con List. Give each option its own sheet of paper divided into two columns. One column for arguments for that decision and one column for arguments against that decision. Remember that just because one list is longer than the other doesn’t mean that the answer is determined, one con may completely rule out a plethora of pros.

2. Look long term. Take a moment to visualize the long term implications of each choice and remember that choosing not to make a choice (I don’t want to make a decision about what to make for dinner), is still a choice (therefore, nobody gets to eat!). While it can be tempting to avoid making a choice that means less stability and familial upheaval, consider the long-term implications of delaying that decision. Is it better to be uncomfortable now or later?

3. Find the windows. Choosing one decision instead of another may mean that a metaphorical door is closing. However, in most cases, it also opens several windows that may not have been options before. Developing a list of ‘windows’ highlighting the new options brought about by your decision may bring you some comfort in an uncomfortable time.

External Pressures

Talking it out is great way to generate options, but it can also lead to outsiders taking ‘ownership’ over your decision-making process. If this is the case it can make things much more difficult than if the only opinion being considered is your own. Try:

1) Tuning them out. We can’t live in a vacuum, but what if you could for just few moments? Tune out the voices of those around and consider your own selfish interests for a minute. What would you choose if no one else mattered? Knowing your own desires clearly will make it easier to articulate your thoughts with those around you.

2) Determine Usefulness. Some opinions, like that of the checkout clerk, can be useful to generate options, but can also easily be ignored with little to no long term implications. The opinion of your children, however, may not be so clear. Some of it may be very useful and important to consider while others of it may simply be a distraction. Take the time to determine which of the opinions being pushed on you is ultimately important.

3) Hang on or Hand off. The more opinions in the mix, the easier it is to let someone else make the decision in order to avoid conflict. Determine your stake in the overall result and then hang on or hand it off. Be sure to let others know if this is a decision in which you are heavily invested, especially if you have a tendency to hand off decisions.

4) Create a ‘Board of Directors.’ If others in the household have a legitimate stake in the decision, encourage everyone to come to a ‘Board of Directors’ meeting with their thoughts about how the situation. In some cases, you can decide that the Board should come to a final consensus before the decision is made, while in others (what to have for dinner) might initiate a process of taking turns getting to make the decision.

Any decision, large or small, may lead you to a place of indecisiveness. By trying a few of the tips mentioned here you may discover that you are up for the task after all.