Nobody Likes a Whiner!

I want to start off by saying this before you read any further  — Yes, this is me, Aurelia Williams, but I am about to tackle an issue from an entirely different angle than what you may be used to seeing on this site.

I am standing on my soap box screaming “Mom’s, stop fighting all of your kid’s battles — It’s going to turn them into whiny, weak adults”!!  Let’s be honest, who likes whiny and weak adults?!?

Now that I have said that, I want you to know that I am the proud mother of 3 children (ages 24, 20 and 12) and I also raised my brother through his preteen and teen years.  You don’t have to tell me how sharp the claws of a mama bear can be (because my claws are sharp) but I have to say — there are times that moms need to retract their claws!

Think about it — if you always run to your child’s side, fight their battles and fix everything for them, how will they ever learn to stand up for themselves and figure things out?

Let’s think about it:  Here are the results of fighting all of your child battles:

1. They become and stay weak.
2. They miss out on learning valuable life skills.
3. They will always need you to “fix” things for them.
4. They become a TARGET because others will know that they are weak.
5. They become whiny adults!

Need I go on?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying to just throw your child to the wolves and hope that some animal instincts kick in but moms must start to equip their children with the tools that they need to deal with the problems of today.

Bullying, communication issues, peer conflicts and more are just waiting out there for your child and guess what mom, you can’t be there at all times.

It is important to teach your child to be assertive and confident now so that those skills can remain within them and grow as they grow.  Please note that there is a huge difference between being assertive and being aggressive.Assertiveness is letting people know what your wants and needs are; aggressiveness is when you strongly impose those wants and needs on others.

Now, I will climb down from my soapbox and tell you that I am so passionate about this message and I truly want to help you help your child to be strong and confident.   I also want to help you to know when to step up and help them fight and when to sit back and be that coach that is in the corner with the water bottle and towel to cool them off after a battle.

I’ve organized a totally free coaching class where I will share strategies with you that will help you know when and how to step into or step back from the battles your kids face.

Hop on over to http://www.reallifecoaching.net/class and sign up. Did I mention it is free?  Sign up and perhaps there will be just one less whining adult in the world because of it.

Learning To Love Yourself More

In a search for happiness, many people look for it in other people and not within themselves.  Some people feel that things like money, a better job, bigger house,  better relationships … etc will make them happy.  In reality, to find true contentment you must look inside yourself and learn to love yourself more in order to be happy.

Learning to love yourself more starts with making a conscious decision to do so.  You have to come to the realization that you are ready to be happy and that you want to live a totally fulfilled life.  Learning to love yourself means that you have to trust, love, respect and care for yourself just as you do the people you consider to be very close to you.

Following are steps that you can incorporate into your life that will help you in the process of learning to love yourself more and ultimately make you feel more empowered and happy about yourself!

• Begin to lift yourself up, not put yourself down.   At times, we can be our own worst enemy.  If you don’t like something about yourself, work to change it, don’t beat yourself up over it.   Enlist the help of others if you need to.  If it is something that you simply can’t change, then you must work to accept it.  Beating up on yourself with negative self-talk or indulging in things that are not good for you will only keep you trapped in a vicious cycle of unhappiness.  You’re not likely to change for the better when you fill yourself with negativity.

 

• Give yourself positive rewards.  Just as you would reward a child for doing something good, reward yourself!  When you do something that you are proud of give yourself a small reward and praise yourself for a job well done.   Try not to wait for others to praise you because you may grow resentful if the praise doesn’t come or if it comes but not in a way that you expected it to.   How do you celebrate?  Well, that’s entirely up to you.  For me, a nice trip to Starbucks is a great treat!  Learning to pat your own back, it is a great feeling that can stay with you for a long time. 

 

• Forgive yourself.   We all mess up at times.  Have you ever wondered why forgiving yourself a lot harder than forgiving others?  I doubt that you would keep scolding a child over and over for making a mistake so don’t do that to yourself.   While learning to love yourself more, it is important to give yourself the gift of forgiveness when you make a mistake.  After that, work to figure out what lesson you can learn, and use it to make better choices the next time around. 

 

• Enjoy your successes – big and small.  Most people can remember all of the details of depressing, painful, angry or even embarrassing events that happened many years ago. What if you did the same thing with all of your wins?  Try to remember all of the triumphs and accomplishments that you’ve made and keep that memory with you and think about it at least once a week. Why not start now by making a list of your successes both big and small.

Learning to love yourself is a must if you are looking to have a full happy, healthy balanced life.   Why not make the decision today that you will love yourself in every moment, unconditionally.   

If you’re ready to make a change and need help in learning to love yourself more - why not grab our free 20 minute coaching consultation or simply sign up now one of our affordable coaching packages and allow me to help you.