It’s not all that difficult to show gratitude but it does take a little time and some getting used to. It’s also worth showing children early on the importance of gratitude. Not only does it make you feel good when you show gratitude, but it also helps others around you.

Here are a few tips to help you get into the habit of counting your blessings:

1. Keep a gratitude journal. This can be simple notebook you keep on the side of your bed. Each night before going to sleep write down all the things you are grateful for. Writing things down cements them into your mind and subconscious in a more positive way then simply thinking about it.

It also gives you a nice record to look back on and see how far you’ve come. And if you’re ever feeling low, simply looking through your journal may help life your spirits.

2. Show gratitude. While writing down that you’re grateful is nice, there is no substitute for real life action. Show others you are grateful for them. Give your children a hug daily and tell them how lucky you are to have them in your life. Do the same with your partner. And don’t forget friends and neighbors. While it may not be appropriate to go around hugging everyone you meet, you can show gratitude in other ways.

A thank you note to a friend who invited you for coffee or doing a favor for a neighbor are both simple and very nice ways to show people you care. When you show people you care and are happy to have them in your life, this has a very positive effect that rubs off on everyone.

3. Be a blessing to others. You know you have a good life and that so many others are much worse off. Why not show your gratitude by helping others who are not so fortunate? This is one of the best ways to express gratitude for everything you have.

Get involved in a cause near and dear to your heart. You don’t have to dedicate your whole life to it but a little goes a long way. Volunteer a few hours a week or a month at your local shelter. Or offer to help a local single parent with the school run. Or perhaps an elderly neighbor needs to be driven to the pharmacy once a week.

It doesn’t really matter what you choose to do, but by being involved and helping others who are not so fortunate you send out a real message of gratitude to the universe. You not only help someone else’s life, but you also attract more goodwill to yourself in the process.

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Job loss is probably one of the most stressful changes in a person’s life today, especially now in the US. However, by looking at the situation differently, job loss doesn’t have to be stressful.
When you are faced with job loss, try to think of it as a new opportunity; an opportunity to try something new and different or an opportunity or do something you’ve always wanted to do or love to do. Try to look at job loss as a new beginning instead of looking at is as the end.

How about moving or transferring to another area? Moving away from people you love can be very stressful and difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. If you look at it as an opportunity to stretch your horizons and meet new people, moving can be fun and exciting. However, I also know this can be difficult sometimes, especially when you love the area you live in now, or all your friends and family are here or you love your church or other organizations you belong to. Your friends and family will still be there, and you will still be able to be in contact with them through the Internet or by phone on a regular basis. And now you will be able to make more friends and perhaps a church family or neighbors will “adopt” you as their family.

Some other changes in life that tend to be stressful, but can be seen as a new opportunity are:

• An unexpected pregnancy. Obviously this can cause stress financially, emotionally, physically and mentally. However, it is definitely a new opportunity; a new opportunity to love a child and to give life. A new opportunity to make some lifestyle changes or even to give life to someone who can’t have children of their own through adoption.

• A child going off to college or moving away from home is a huge change that many find difficult to deal with. Once again, look at the opportunities available not only to you, but for your son or daughter as well. Maybe you’ll be able to downsize your home, saving you hundreds of dollars each month. Or perhaps you’ll be able to turn their room into a guest room or office that you’ve always wanted; not to mention the growth and experience they are going to gain as they grow and mature out in the world on their own.

You can either look at life changes as a new opportunity or as a stressful situation. How you choose to handle a situation will determine how much stress you’re going to allow on yourself. The choice is yours and as soon as you begin looking at life changes as new opportunities the sooner you will have a lot less stress in your life.

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Low Self Confidence Causes Insecurity in Relationships

When you are not sure of yourself, you probably have a hard time believing someone could love you just the way you are, therefore, this causes trust issues. You tend to think your boyfriend or spouse is out cheating on you when they are late coming home, or perhaps you even find yourself trying to control their every move. These kinds of actions can cause the other party to want to end the relationship. This is true of friendship as well. Have you ever had a friend who couldn’t stand you being friends with anyone else? It’s because they are insecure in themselves and don’t believe you’re a true friend if you have more than one friend.

Low Self Confidence Can Cause Infidelity in a Relationship

When a person suffers from low self confidence, they may also tend to stray and cheat on their partner. For example, someone comes along who gives them more attention than their partner does, so they leave their spouse or boy/girlfriend for the one giving them more attention at that time. Instead of being secure in themselves and their relationship, a person with low self confidence flees from the first sign of trouble, or the first time someone else pays attention to them.

If you’ve been having trouble keeping relationships alive or find yourself trying to control your partners every move and always worrying about what they’re doing, you probably suffer from lack of self confidence. A life coach can help you see the areas where you lack confidence as well as help you to overcome self confidence issues. Click here for a free, 20 minute consultation and start living the life you’ve always dreamed of….strong and confident.

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What is the cause of low self esteem and lack of confidence?

I believe low self esteem and lack of confidence go hand in hand. When you don’t feel good about the way you look, the job you’re in, how you handle finances, or about your relationships and how you relate to others, you tend to hide and shrink back from being all you can be. Not liking yourself leaks into other areas of your life causing you to miss out on promotions because you were too afraid to ask, or developing a relationship with other females because you were jealous of the way they look or dressed, or position they held. Does this sound familiar? If you’re like most women it probably does.

So, where does all this lack of self confidence come from? Often it stems from childhood, or perhaps a bad relationship. Most often, the way someone else has treated us or words that were said once or a thousand times, have been engrained into our minds, causing us to think lowly of ourselves.

Media is another confidence killer, if we allow it. Movie and TV stars who appear to have perfect bodies, teach us that we’re supposed to look like that and if we don’t then no man will ever love us and we’ll never get a good paying job. I want you to know right now, that is a lie from the pit of hell. Most of the women on TV and in the movies have personal trainers and nutritionists that regulate what they eat and when and how much they exercise. I know most of us in the United States can’t afford to hire personal trainers and nutritionists, nor do we have the desire to live that kind of lifestyle. And the women you see on the covers of magazines are air brushed and photo-shopped to look the way they do…not to mention all the Botox and facelifts celebrities have these days.

But even still, other people and the media are not the cause of our low self esteem and lack of confidence. They are not the root of the problem. The root is much deeper and within ourselves and we can overcome these feelings. You can retrain your brain to think good thoughts about yourself no matter how low your self esteem is or bad you lack confidence. You can be taught how not to let yourself think bad thoughts about yourself, not be jealous of others and how to forgive yourself when you make mistakes. You can learn how to exude confidence and hold your head high and you can learn how to relate well to others no matter their social status or yours.

“How do I do this”, you’re probably asking? With the help of a life coach. A life coach can help you see why you’re suffering from low self esteem, help you get to the root of it, and help you overcome it. Get started on the road to a confident new you today and start living the life you’ve always dreamed of.

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As a mom you are a caretaker. You take care of everyone that depends on you, but who is there to take care of you? As a busy mom you need to remember to take care of yourself. A healthy and happy mom will make the rest of the family happy. The old saying is very true, “if mom ain’t happy, then no one is happy.”

The problem is that you do so much when do you have time for you. There are only so many hours in the day and they are filled with family, work, household upkeep and the various other things that we as moms commit ourselves to. We have to realize that taking time for ourselves is essential for everyone under our roofs. Let’s start with the small stuff and work our way towards the larger things.

Is there an activity that you really enjoy but can never find the time for? Maybe it is the time in the gym, working out with aerobics or walking. These are great activities. They are enjoyable and even better, they are good for you. But sometimes as a mom, these are just hard to find the time to fit into our schedules. Get your kids involved. Find out if the gym you go to has kids activities or will allow younger participants into class. Walking is an activity that kids love to do as well. Take them for walks out through the neighborhood or find a local park with a walking trail. Kids will enjoy getting out and getting exercise.

Need to find an activity that doesn’t involve the kids? Want to find a few hours a day when you can do something simply for you? But just simply can’t manage to find the time with the kids? Consider a kid swap. You aren’t the only mom out there that needs a bit of time to herself to catch up and recharge. There are lots of us out there. Consider swapping your kids out for a Saturday afternoon or weeknight evening. You take the kids of a friend for an afternoon and she returns the favor by taking your children for an afternoon. Just be sure that you spend that time on you. Go shopping, relax, spend an hour at a spa or even curl up with a good book. Just do something fun for you.

Your days are full of activities, children and more activities. As a mom you take care of so many people. Finding time for yourself may not be easy, but you really need to do it. Finding even a spare five minutes where you can indulge in something purely for you will help your outlook.

Aurelia Williams is a certified life coach and author of Getting Out Of The Super Mom Trap. Learn how to overcome the situations that cause you to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and, most likely, under appreciated.

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Be nice to yourself – Every mom has experienced a moment, when raising their child, where something happened to them that made the mom feel like it was their fault. This is probably one of the most popular forms of mommy guilt ever. Your child falls and bruises their knee; your immediate reaction is to berate yourself as a mother.

“I’m a terrible mother,” is how it usually begins. Be kind to yourself, because you are a good mother. Things will happen with your child and no matter how hard you try to provide for the safest environment possible, things will still happen. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother.

Release the need to control everything - Remind yourself that you are not in control of everything that happens to your child. A part of growing up is learning from mistakes. The harder you try to keep them from everything bad out there, the harder they will ultimately fight you on it.

Even though you are an involved parent and see after your child, there is no way you can prevent some things from happening. Just spend that energy on being there for your child to help them through life and not try so hard to control it.

Trust yourself - You are the best person for the tough job called ‘Mommy’ to your child. Don’t second-guess yourself. When your intuition says that your child shouldn’t be doing something; then learn to trust it and stand firm. Don’t give in just because you don’t want them mad at you. Your internal leads are there for a reason.

Don’t cave in to guilt trips - Kids like to take their parents down guilt trip lane. We all want our children to have and do whatever they want, but it’s not always the safest or best thing for them. When you make a decision, stick to your guns.

Don’t allow others to influence your parental decisions - It’s typical for other parents to offer unwarranted advice. While it’s nice to receive other’s opinions on something about your child, you are ultimately the one who will need to make the decision. If you are faced with this kind of circumstance; clearly tell them that you appreciate their opinion and will keep it in mind, but don’t let them influence you too much on your decisions.

You know your child, better than anyone, so you are the one that will know what’s best for them. All parents as well as kids make mistakes, so it’s important not to let yourself doubt your mothering abilities. You’re raising your kids the best you can, so it’s time to start believing in yourself.

Aurelia Williams is a certified life coach and author of Real Life Guidance to Balancing Work And Family an Easy Step-By-Step Guide To Balancing Your Work And Family Time.

Life coaching packages come in a variety of levels and through various media to meet every budget. Take a look at all the packages and ways life coaching can help you get back on the road to a positive, joyous and successful life.

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With the current state of the economy perhaps you are struggling to make ends meet, losing your home to foreclosure, facing bankruptcy or simply unable to pay your bills on time. Any one of these situations can cause additional stress and even lead to depression. Then because you’re feeling depressed other circumstances in life tend to seem unbearable, causing more depression.

You may be thinking that you can’t afford to hire a life coach on top of all the other financial stresses in your life, but actually a life coach can help you get your finances, as well as other areas in your life, in order.

A life coach can help you see where you can cut costs, teach you how to spend less and live on a budget. When you’re living within your means, a lot of stress is relieved from your life, which can help conquer feelings of depression.

Another way a life coach can help is by teaching you how to become more organized, whether in your business or your personal life. Sometimes when your life is in disarray, you may tend to feel more depressed or blue. Having a life coach can help you see areas in your life where you may need more organization including setting up a schedule for yourself and your family, and even your business. Being organized and having a schedule can help you feel more in control of your life, therefore reducing stress in your life.

Often depression may be brought on because you don’t feel victorious in certain areas of your life. A life coach can help you build your self image and self esteem which will give you more confidence to do the things you’ve always dreamed of. When you begin accomplishing some of the things you’ve always wanted to you will begin to feel a heightened sense of well being along with a positive attitude.

Life coaching packages come in a variety of levels and through various media to meet every budget. Take a look at all the packages and ways life coaching can help you get back on the road to a positive, joyous and successful life.

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Your ultimate New Year’s resolution may be to learn a new language or how to dance all forms of ballroom dance. However, an unreasonable goal is to assume you could do either of those in a short period of time. Some goals are possible within a month, such as losing five pounds, but learning how to speak fluent Chinese in that amount of time absolutely is not.

It is important for us to plan for the future so we’re not aimlessly wandering through life. Sometimes setting long-range goals can be overwhelming because they’re so far out in the future that we doubt if we’ll ever meet them. If there aren’t intermediate goals along the way to your ultimate goal, it will be too easy for you to lose focus and give up.

Instead of having just the one, long-range goal, consider having small goals that you can work on – even on a daily basis. This will help you by allowing you to feel a sense of accomplishment when you meet one of the smaller goals, as well as letting you know you’re on the right track to reach your goal.

How do you break down one big goal into several smaller goals? That all depends upon what your goal is. You can choose best what you need to do each day to help keep you on track. Don’t let your gaze go too far down the trail that you have laid out for yourself. If you don’t stay focused on the day at hand, you might miss something wonderful along the way.

Remember that reaching a goal is much like going on a journey. If you’re too focused on the destination, you’ll miss the beauty along the way. You can stop along the way and smell the roses rather than speeding along the path you’re on and missing them entirely. By setting smaller goals that you can reach, you’ll be moving toward your goal and be much more likely to actually reach it.

Don’t give up if things don’t work out exactly like you’ve planned. Things in life happen that may keep you from reaching a small goal in the time you had hoped. When things settle back down you can pick up where you left off. It may take longer to reach your goal than you wanted, but that’s no reason to give up.

Give yourself a reward when you’ve reached a smaller goal, rather than waiting to complete the large goal. Knowing you’ll have a small reward when you have met a goal may be the impetus you need to keep going when you feel discouraged.

When you have a goal in mind, consider the steps you can take. Set New Year’s goals that are not beyond your reach. Reward yourself when you’ve reached a small goal and then keep going to the next one

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It doesn’t matter if you resolve to loose some weight, stop smoking or carve some more time out for yourself. Together we will get you there this year. Here’s to a successful 2010!

2009 Reflection

The end of the year has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the new year to come.

It’s a wonderful time to reflect on the changes we want and need to make and resolve to follow through on those changes.

Here are some questions to get you started in your reflection.

1) What did I learn? (skills, knowledge, awareness, etc.)
2) What did I accomplish? (Create a list of your accomplishments and achievements).
3) What would I have done differently? Why?
4) What still feels incomplete or unfinished to me?
5) What were the top 3 significant events of the year past?
6) What do I feel especially good about?
7) What were my biggest challenges/roadblocks/difficulties?

Carve out some time to reflect, learn and grow from the past year. This will prepare you for a positive New Year ahead.

Action Steps

Here are a few action steps for you to take into consideration when working on setting your resolutions.

1) Make sure you set goals that you can realistically reach. Striving to be perfect is not a realistic goal. Striving to eat healthier, exercise more..etc. is a realistic goal.

2) Break your big goals up into bite-sized chunks. They key is to take small, thought-through steps to reach your ultimate goal.

3) Write your goals down and force yourself to be very specific about them. You can then refer back to your goals list and you can see how you are measuring up. It is an empowering feeling to set goals and achieve them.

4) Celebrate! When you achieve a goal or overcome a hurdle that brings you closer to that goal, CELEBRATE you and your accomplishment!

5) Get a goal buddy, coach, friend or partner to help you along the way!

You can accomplish just about anything you ask of yourself. Make your goals specific and clear. When you know exactly what you intend to do, you’re well on your way to getting it done.

New Year, New You Special

I am offering my subscribers a 20% discount on any of my coaching packages. You can view the packages at the link above. Be sure to mention this special when you sign up!

Freebies

Try a Free Session on the house! I offer free 35-minute consultations (valued at $45); by telephone, instant messenger or in person to help you decide if coaching is for you. If you are interested in setting one up for yourself, simply hit reply to this message and let me know

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