Organizing Your Decision Making Process

Decision making is a necessary part of life, but can often be stifled by an unorganized way of thinking about the process. There are three ways to categorize the items that delay our ability to make a decision and several ways of addressing each type. The three categories are decision- making confusion, commitment anxiety and external pressures.

Decision making Confusion

This label categorizes the feeling that ‘something must be done,’ but you can’t even determine what the options are. Try:

1) Sleep on It. If a particular situation is causing you high stress in the heat of the moment, take a step back and sleep on it for a night. In the morning (after your coffee), you may discover that options are not as difficult to generate as you had thought the previous day. Much like used car sales, this offer is good for ‘one day only!’ If it has been 24-hours since it became clear that something should be done, it’s time to try another option-generating strategy.

2) Free-write Brainstorm. Give yourself a set amount of time and write down every option that you can think of. Don’t worry about whether or not the option is viable. Just write down anything that comes to mind. When the time has elapsed, go through your list and determine which of the options are worth considering further.

3) Talk it out. Call your best friends, talk to your co- workers or chat with the checkout clerk. Talk with others who can look at your situation with fresh eyes and get their input to generate a list of options. In some cases, experienced eyes may be even more helpful than fresh eyes. Hunt for a friend or acquaintance that has been in a similar situation and find out how they ultimately made their decision. Be sure to let them know that you may not make the same one, but that you appreciate the assistance in generating options.

Commitment Anxiety

Now that your options are on the table, you may experience commitment anxiety, a deep fear that your choice will lock you into a decision that is ultimately not the best choice. Try:

1. Pro/Con List. Give each option its own sheet of paper divided into two columns. One column for arguments for that decision and one column for arguments against that decision. Remember that just because one list is longer than the other doesn’t mean that the answer is determined, one con may completely rule out a plethora of pros.

2. Look long term. Take a moment to visualize the long term implications of each choice and remember that choosing not to make a choice (I don’t want to make a decision about what to make for dinner), is still a choice (therefore, nobody gets to eat!). While it can be tempting to avoid making a choice that means less stability and familial upheaval, consider the long-term implications of delaying that decision. Is it better to be uncomfortable now or later?

3. Find the windows. Choosing one decision instead of another may mean that a metaphorical door is closing. However, in most cases, it also opens several windows that may not have been options before. Developing a list of ‘windows’ highlighting the new options brought about by your decision may bring you some comfort in an uncomfortable time.

External Pressures

Talking it out is great way to generate options, but it can also lead to outsiders taking ‘ownership’ over your decision-making process. If this is the case it can make things much more difficult than if the only opinion being considered is your own. Try:

1) Tuning them out. We can’t live in a vacuum, but what if you could for just few moments? Tune out the voices of those around and consider your own selfish interests for a minute. What would you choose if no one else mattered? Knowing your own desires clearly will make it easier to articulate your thoughts with those around you.

2) Determine Usefulness. Some opinions, like that of the checkout clerk, can be useful to generate options, but can also easily be ignored with little to no long term implications. The opinion of your children, however, may not be so clear. Some of it may be very useful and important to consider while others of it may simply be a distraction. Take the time to determine which of the opinions being pushed on you is ultimately important.

3) Hang on or Hand off. The more opinions in the mix, the easier it is to let someone else make the decision in order to avoid conflict. Determine your stake in the overall result and then hang on or hand it off. Be sure to let others know if this is a decision in which you are heavily invested, especially if you have a tendency to hand off decisions.

4) Create a ‘Board of Directors.’ If others in the household have a legitimate stake in the decision, encourage everyone to come to a ‘Board of Directors’ meeting with their thoughts about how the situation. In some cases, you can decide that the Board should come to a final consensus before the decision is made, while in others (what to have for dinner) might initiate a process of taking turns getting to make the decision.

Any decision, large or small, may lead you to a place of indecisiveness. By trying a few of the tips mentioned here you may discover that you are up for the task after all.